Recently I have been thinking a lot about this question perhaps you can help me answer it.  “What does teenage faith look like?” Is it the same as adult faith?  Do we have the same expectations of teens in their faith as we do adults?  Its the same God, the same Holy Spirit.

Here is what I’ve come up with so far (by no means a finished work).   Teens in the bible; Mary, David, John…. I’m sure there is more .  If this is the standard for teenage faith… oh my???    I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many adults living faith like Mary, David, or John.  These are paragons of the faith, people that we all aspire to be like.  Is this the standard we use to measure teenage faith?  Perhaps a better question is what quality did they posses that made them people of such great faith?

It  seems to me that the thing teenagers all share is their ability to take things on faith.  For better or worse (often worse) teenagers take things on faith all the time.  This boy or girl friend has my best interest in mind.  This teacher would never lie to me.  The friends I have now will always be my friends.  This college choice is the most important decision of my life, my very future.  I’m going to major in X Y or Z.  I’ll never ____ ill always _____.

Yet I’ve seen students make amazing steps of faith. I’ve seen them; break up with someone because they were spiritually unequally yoked.  Share their life story, Gods story , in front of hundreds of others.  Star basket ball players tell coaches “I won’t be at practice on Sunday would you like to hear why?” resulting in that coach coming to church.  Reject a date with the most popular girl in school because of God, only to be hazed by their entire Sr class.  Tell the parent of their best friend, about their child’s drug addiction.  Be the only disciple to follow Jesus to the cross.  Become the mother of God.  Slay a giant God mocking Philistine.

Hum, teenagers are just people, people with out experience.  People who learn by tiring it out and trying on. The hope is that they will figure out whats right and what fits before the consequences are too awful.  What a crazy way to go through life…. try something see if it works get smacked down, try something else get smacked down.   All the while expecting the same results.  uggg exhausting.. and painful.  It seems to me, that great people of God are always people that; after getting smacked down come in brokenness to God in HOPE, reflect with God in LOVE, and go out in the world (relationships) in FAITH.

The thing for me is this.  If I know this process is true, then am I willing to get messy with kids as they go through this? Am I willing to trust God with their choices, help them reflect with God in love, and send them out in faith?  Faith in a God that they cant see?  Yes!

Perhaps the tougher question for some of us adults is, are we willing to be part of the process in our marriages, friendships, family?  Are we wiling to let people we love find the line by crossing it and then walking with them to reflect and grow, or do we feel the need to control the situation? Seems to me I know plenty of adults, who like teens, learn by crossing the line ( I often do).

The question is am I willing to be the mirror in their lives (or who is my mirror)?  Not easy…. Not fun… and yet I have to believe in a God that is at work in the process, who redeems things that are broken and gives peace in times of nightmare circumstances.  I have to believe in a God that is in a messy relationship with me.

1st Cor. 13:11-13 Matt 18:1-4 Matt 11: 28-30

I have been thinking this week about the in between moments.  Do you know what I mean?  The times when there is no camera, no record other than your memory.  For me these times are some of the best.  Lots of G.T.’s (good times) in the non planned, non programed, non intentional moments of life and living.  For me so much of youth group these days is planning, studying, executing.  I kinda miss the days with students that went like this.

“what do you want to do?”

” I don’t know what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know..”

” lets go down town with a video camera and film something”

“Like what?”

“I’ll think of something….”

These moments of living  seems to be the richest.  Rich in relationship, rich in experience.  These are the moments that I have great memories.  I wonder if the disciples felt the same way?  I wonder about the in between moments that they had with Jesus.  the moments that didn’t make the book.

I’m looking for (and oddly afraid of?) those moments, not just with students, but with my family.  Times that are not “getting things done” but being with people.  The same goes for God and me.  I find that I reduce time with him to getting things done and not “hanging out”  being together, living life.

I find my self yearning for this conversation with Jesus;

“What do you want to do?”

“You tell me Tom…, (with a chuckle)”

“I don’t know…. (with a shrug)”

Jesus responds; “I’ll think of something come with me”

When i think about it……               everything else seems ……                         dry.

This past week was filled with “things to do”  some of which, quite frankly, I’m a little apprehensive about.  But what ever, I mean who doesn’t right?  All week no matter what I did, I seemed to go exactly nowhere and get exactly nothing done.  What do you do in times like these?

I’m no fool, (well don’t quote me on that).  I figure OK, I know in my soul, I just need to be with the Lord.  Put all this “to do” business behind for a moment and satiate the thirst that I’m dieing for.  So that’s what I do, crack the word.  I’m looking here, reading there, usually this is where God and I meet.  I’m looking I’m listening… I got nothing.  no reassurance, no presence, no nothing.  One more thing not going anywhere.  Now I’m sure it’s not God, it’s me, but some how I’m missing it?  So of course I close my eyes and start to poor out anxiety, confess sin, ask for a heart change and help.  This too is familiar ground for God and me, and here too I find that I’m deaf,  blind, and  wondering… now what?  Well I’ll just keep on, on keeping on, right?  Press ahead.

Day after day all week this is how it goes; struggle, confess,  submit and hear nothing!  Friday comes and I’m getting a little worried.  I have  an Easter message at Jr high youth group tonight.  I’m looking of some sense of Gods presence even though I know all the promises.  I know God is here.  I know he’s got my back, that the Holy Spirit will give me the words to speak, that his Word never goes out empty.  Yet I’m unsettled with out the assurance of his presence.

Well Friday night  youth group  comes and goes and i find that….yep you guessed it….I “tanked it”.  No I mean “tanked it hard”.  I’m all over the place, took on too much passage for not enough time, stumbled over the words.  I’m sure that at least half the kids had no idea what I was talking about.  As the kids look at me with that glassy eyed look, I’m thinking…. “yep tanked it….ouch”!   Saturday morning comes and I’m thinking “God this has got to get better right”?  Thursday I’m giving a sex talk… yes that’s right I said SEX talk.  To make matters worse it’s at UNH, not my usual audience, more than a little uncomfortable.  Still worse yet, Im speaking to the fraternities and  sororities (mostly sororities)!  Oh my… HELP!  Not a great time to be insecure about hearing form God.  Definitely feeling unequal to the calling.

Saturday a.m. finds me with out wife and child and some time to kill.  So I pick up the old chainsaw and head to the back 40 to work on the paintball field.  Two hours of clearing dead wood and making God’s beautiful creation more conducive to war and killing, and I’m feeling the burn in the old arms.  I take a break by walking the course and marking the boundaries.  On returning, I go to start the chain saw again, only to find it will not start.  Great!  Classic! ( my new phrase this week, it means, “what on this earth would possess me to think, that any thing could actually go according to plan).

Generally speaking I’m thick,  and not real bright, but i get it.  “OK God I’m listening, you want me to go home?”  “I’m done here right?”   Then I hear it…feel it… know it.  Gods voice.  “Worship me”.  That’s it.   Just “worship me”.  I stop.   Pause.  Hesitate.  why do I do that?  Why does my heart resist what I know is best?  Pride?  selfishness?  stubbornness?  Do you do that?  Am I alone in this?

I figure it’s the heart thing.  The real thing that God desires for, and from me.   Not the obligatory time in the word or the prayer time that  has all the right parts to it.  He is calling me to the straight up, no hidding, emotional reality of worshiping.  Just me Him and the woods.  no chainsaw to escape with, no wife or kids to use to avoid Him, no to do list.  I let it out.  No belt it out Pavarotti mind you.  Just me quietly praising God.  One song, then another.

Then I hear him again.  “What are doing out here?”  “20 kids who don’t know me come here to play  paintball every week twice a week, what are you doing out here?” ” Your right Lord I’m sorry, what AM I doing out here?”  and I spend the next few moment lifting the students up, praying that their names would be added to the book of life, that they would become sons and daughters of God, co -hers in the kingdom with Jesus!  In that time I realize that God does not desire sacrifice for sacrifice sake..  but rather my heart.  There is no substitute for the real thing, my soul knows it, God knows it, and I know it.  It might take some emotional work, some bumps and bruises, but im hoping to grow, to learn, to stretch out and worship Him in Spririt and Truth.