Went to worship God and spend some time with him today… feeling out of sorts… like a messy desk that I can’t get organized, full of screaming needs and tasks to get done.  I could not get a handle on things and felt I needed time with him… usually I spend some time in worship , prayer and the word… I could not remember a single worship song!….Humm … This caused great distress, and many prayers… I find that it’s in these times I know God is taking me into some new dark room where I’ll have no choice but to depend on him.  Needless to say I bang my shins and scrape my knees on every unseen piece of furniture along the way!  It’s in these times that I find I experience the depth and breadth of God.  HE JUST WONT STAY IN THE BOX I PUT HIM IN! It’s always good and enlightening when I’m out the other side looking back… but while I’m in it…. I just hold on for the ride and make more time to be with him.

I can remember some great times as a kid playing guns.  Throw on my dads old camo.  Grab any stick the shape of a gun, along with a few pine cone grenades ( a big no no at my sons school by the way who knew, we do now!) and run out to the old fort.  Soon friends would gather, the enemy would attack.  Eventually  ammo would run low and the air would ring with phrases like “fire in the hole, contact left, sniper in the open, and MEDIC!”  Well I have to admit its still fun today its called paintball people!  don’t be a hater!

This got me to thinking about the purpose of camo….. to blend in of course.  To not stand out to enemy fire!  Humm……  I have camo….. do I blend in???   Do I put on my camo with the people around me?  As a christian do I hide from enemy fire?  what does that say about my theology (belief about who God is)?

^“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.  Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.  If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.   They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.”

Jesus to his disciples

Hummm…. Lord Let me make decisions about what I say and do that come from following you in faith… let me honor you first, trusting my relationships, and reputation, to you.

What about you all?  Is it just me?  Do you have camo?   What do you think that your camo says about God?

Recently all us crazy Jr. High youth workers had our annual “mall hunt” event .  This is where we (youth leaders) dress up in costume while kids in chaperoned teams try to find us .  Kind of a living “wheres waldo” thing (my wife refused to kiss me like this by the way… cant understand why… maybe she is not into older men).

It got me to thinking (don’t laugh that’s not funny I WAS  thinking!).  This was my disguise but it was me.  No fake hair, no fake mustache, actually me.  So is it a disguise if its me?  Why didn’t people recognize me?  IT’S STILL ME PEOPLE!  Then it hit me.  We all put on an image of who we think we are… or who we want people to see.  We all wear a “face” maybe multiple faces.  We have work faces, party faces, extended family faces, school faces (ever look at your old year book?) dare i say CHURCH FACES?  Is this just a matter of being comfortable in my own skin?  do I put on faces to hide sin?  Hide from consequences?  Is this a matter if integrity?  What are your thoughts?  What faces do people put on?  When and why do we do it?  Is it all bad? Are there times we need to put on face?  Makes me ponder.

There are certainly times in life one looks back and says.. “oops definitely thought i had that one”.  This is one of those times.  It was the day after Christmas I go into my wife’s closet to put  away a stack of freshly washed clothes.  What do I find in there?  Nothing less that a big box with the words “ROCK BAND 2″ on it.  Now here is the deal, it was a month prior that Jenn and I had discussed the purchase of said item. And I quote “Jenn we will never use that, what a waste, don’t get it”.   I return from finding this box of utter stupidity, and did what any good husband would do.  I reminded my wife of my previous wisdom and intellect with profound words like ” come on were 36 years old”, “how many 36 year old people do you know who play rock band?”  Well the next day was family Christmas, my mom, brother, sister in-law and nephew come over.  What do you think we did?….  ROCK BAND!   For 5 hours…. Then New Years with the Quinneys and Cadys… you got it ….ROCK BAND!  Post new year annual breakfast with the Lows, Harters, and Riddles (all over 35 by the way) ……yep ROCK BAND!   Last but not least, what do you think my wife wants to do after  a 12 hour shift at the E.D. saving lives and drawing blood… movie, cuddle, … nope ROCK BAND!  I have to admin it is  a ton of fun rocking out with my wife and best friend.  What can I say…..sweetie when I’m wrong I’m WRONG!  ROCK ON!