doing a sermon on the crucifixion is really hard for me. i’m reminded of a writer who once described what happened to him in seminary. he said that when he entered seminary, he would read the gospel accounts of the passion and would cry– it moved his soul that much. by the time he left seminary, he could read the same accounts, ponder all the different theological theories of the atonement, think through the different writer’s perspectives– but there were no more tears. Jesus’ death was now an idea to be debated, not a event the moved the heart. sometimes i feel the same way.

what’s interesting is that a couple years ago when the “passion of the Christ” was produced, it kind of rekindled in me the remembrance of what an amazing thing the cross really is. maybe seeing it on the screen was what did it, or maybe visualizing the brutality of what happened to Jesus was what moved my soul. all i know is that i cried many tears during that film.

problem is– i’m not sure i cried for the right reason. for me it was seeing the physical brutality of the scourging and crucifixion that brought the tears. it all seemed so hideously unjust. strange how the gospel writers pretty much ignore the physical aspects of the cross (except maybe for Jesus’ words “I thirst”).  for them and the other writers of the NT, the real horror of the cross was that a holy God would have to encounter that which is unholy (sin). i just don’t think we will every really know what that was like for Jesus. as 2 corinthians says, “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us”. to suffer the judgment for the sins of the world, to feel the abandonment of the Father, to “taste” hell for me. can’t say i’ll ever know what that really was like.